instagram caption by livvwilde that is sooo relevant rn (via coffeebreathh)
Yes, muh but really though.
There literally is not enough time to process life, hang out with friends, go to class, and do schoolwork. Hey there time, PLEASE slow down.
in lots and lots of ways.
A sinking heart in ways of tenderness, rejoicing, love, and hurt. Recognizing and wanting to sink in every last moment here because these souls and this community are so very dear to my heart. Rejoicing in thankfulness by their huge impact and their way generous hearts, souls who accept me for real ri and meet me where I’m at on my totally weird/ranty/sometimes kinda cynical/life loving/seeing things that are so beautiful and sublime that you literally just want to squeeze it because you’re so angry and that’s just your first reaction/laughing until you are near peeing your pants or actually do/crying and spilling hearts (which has always been something way weird to me to do around people)/throwing stress fits and resorting to the insanely messy study room just to find that you’re not the only one who’s stressed so you don’t feel so alone anymore. Loving those moments when something that hurts is on my mind and I have precious friendships that will notice the small things and sit me down and hug me and ask me whats wrong, the people who notice even though I feel like I’m doing a decent job at suppressing those things on my mind. When I go about with those things unnoticed, but somehow they just know. I still don’t get it. I cherish those rare people. Those friends who will rant with you as they also recognize that sometimes the world just sucks and how I don’t understand what these various philosophical reading says about humanity and Christianity and the church and how things just seem awful and confusing at times and how shit I just want to be able to make sense of things all the time and dig deep and find something, grasp something. But those friends also help you think through things and recognize that through questions and hurts that there is goodness and the goodness is beyond what we can fathom and that God is orchestrating something so important in our lives in these moments. Letting go of some frustrations and uncertainties and going head first into new ones. this. is. so. constant. Sometimes thinking that I’m feeling numb the fact that I have less than two weeks left here, that soon I will be finishing finals, soon I will be packing, soon I will be on my way home for Christmas break. And frankly, I don’t want to leave. But also feeling not so numb because I feel lots of rushes of emotions (joys + hurts + no.no.no.-I’m-not-leaving-this-place). That what I fully claim to be the best 4 months of abundant insanely great adventures, the hardest 4 months of academically rigorous studies, the deepest 4 months of figuring out who I am and who God is, the most fulfilling 4 months when it comes to the authentic/heart pouring/accepting/loving friendships, is concluding in a way of sorts. But such excitement for extending these past four months and continue adventuring, learning, questioning, investing, growing, deepening, relying, trusting.