Deeply and Creatively Weird.

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"To everything, there is a season" Ec. 3


I’m so sick of racism. 

Feeling so sad where I’m at currently because I feel like the person I am becoming is so bitter and I realized that I am bitter out of pure exhaustion and I love people and I find such joy in seeking beauty in human beings but I’ve been so bad recently at befriending people because I’ve already just been so torn downs and so hurt by the comments made by some of the people I’ve been surrounded by and I just don’t have the energy to see past a lot of stuff as I usually would and I feel like I’m just not connecting and I realize that it’s my falt but I’m just so tired, I’m so tired

I’m so tired and I don’t like this person I am becoming

I just want to be surrounded by dear friends, and read the works of philosophers, make art, and spend time with my mom at home (I’m so homesick for the first time in my life, even more so than I sorta was in Alaska), and surround myself in pillows and blankets, and yell on the top of mountains, and just to feel safe, safe in the sense of safety in people, because even though I’m in downtown LA I don’t really feel that unsafe, I just feel so unsafe with this program and some of the people I’m with (but I have also just met some of the sweetest most compassionate souls here like my roomie ri and some other girls in the group)